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Bodily function 

Well after 3 days of non stop diarrhea, at least some of my water intake is going back to my bladder now instead of it all to my intestines, so that’s something.

Listening to @agw speak makes me realize how ridiculous and difficult English is. “I shutted the door” is a perfectly reasonable extrapolation. Only it’s wrong. Because English.

You know what's fun? Email opt-out links that don't properly URL encode the recipient delimiter in my email address so I have to go and type %2B in the address bar manually.

Airplane!: The first half and parts of the second half are still quite funny.

There’s no such thing as symmetry. One side’s always a little bit different than the other.

I'm going to name my next server "Justice" so I can administer it.

I wonder: does using a significant date as a PIN help you remember the PIN or the date?

a missionary? oh u mean a Catholytic converter

re: explaining fediverse to people 

@duponin You're already on fedi, so I assume it wont tell you more than you already know, but the way I explain it using that method generally goes something like

Let's say you're on Facebook and a friend is on Twitter. You want to send them a message, but you can't send messages from FB to twitter, right? That'd just be weird right? (Generally people agree that this is indeed the case and would be weird otherwise)

Of course you can also call them on the phone. Let's say you're with a telephone provider BlablaFon. A friend also has a phone, but they are with another provider, namely Phonica (I'm using fake names here, typically I use existing names they know because that parses easier).
Now image that you're calling them, but it doesn't work and you get told that it's normal it doesn't work because they are with another provider. That be weird right? You both have a phone and a subscription, you should be able to call each other, right? Why would a provider not allow calls to another provider? (Generally they agree that this would indeed be weird)

Yet, when we want to contact each other from one social media account to another, we suddenly not only think it's normal that it doesn't work, we'd even think it's strange if it would work! But it works for phones, why would it not work for social media either? (Here I typically see in their facial expressions that something clicks for them)

So that's basically what the fediverse is. Just like you have several telephone providers, we have different social media platforms. But even if you're on a different platform, you can still talk to each other like you're part of one big network. Or better put, you *are* all part of one big network, namely the fediverse.

If you've never heard of a self fulfilling prophecy then you will.

Just got this email from Comcast:

"We're pleased to share that we've increased both your upload and download speeds from 2 Gbps to up to 3 Gbps at no additional cost to you."

Um, yeah. That was really holding me back. 😜 But it is appreciated.

Sometimes you feel like you’re living in a cruelly funny one liner like, “the beatings will continue until morale improves.”

Toddler thinking:
wife: "What's the treat bag?"
me: "A pencil, fake vampire teeth, some candy, and a choking hazard (a small rubber ball)."
@agw: "I want to choke on it."
me: "No."
@agw: "I want to choke on it!"
me: "Kid, I was making a joke."

me: (explaining endianness to non-programmer)
non-programmer: So is that like one little, two little, three little endians?

me: "That's shampoo."
@agw: "poop"
me: "shampoo"
@agw: "shampoop"
me: "shampoo"
@agw: "shampoo"

Why call it "kiln-dried lumber" when you could call it baked beams

It is unwise to become sentimental about uneaten leftovers.

Nobody knows what I do and when I try to explain it I either dumb it out down too much or not enough and either way I end up sounding like an ass.

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