These 3-hour-long meetings are just inhumane.

Per @agw, cows say “moo” when they like something. I asked, “What do they say then they don’t like something?” @agw said, “Moo not.”

@agw and me talking about firefighters’ helmets:
Me: “They’re mostly to protect them from things falling on their heads.”
@agw: “Like snowflakes.”

There is no award for surviving, no matter what you’ve been through. Maybe birthdays count. Hooray, you survived another lap around the sun. Have some cake.

"Someone in the U.S. has a stroke every 40 seconds."

That poor person.

The Collapse of the USA 

"Is there any way we can stop it?"

"It is no longer a question of stopping it, sir. The explosion has already occurred--the fact that it is moving slowly changes nothing."

If you need to write HTML for a login or account management site, I got a little tip for you.

The input's "autocomplete" attribute can be more than just "on" or "off"!

You can actually set autocomplete to "username" or "current-password", to help a password manager find the right fields.

In the case of changing passwords, you can set autocomplete to "current-password" or "new-password" to avoid password managers trying to autofill your current password into the new password field.

Did you know there are centralized alternatives to the #Fediverse?

They are great!
Instead of being developed by volunteers for the community they are developed for millionaires with the sole purpose of getting them more money and influence over the "users".

They contain ads and algorithms, so you don't have to decide, what you want to see, but you get to see what makes you addicted, so you view more ads, buy more stuff and thereby support the capitalist system that we all love.

Instead of anonymity you get to enter your phone number and other form of identification, which totally helps against hate speech, right?

I could go on with advantages, but I think it's best you check them out for yourselves.

Samsung Appliances: "Because sometimes, you just want things to beep."

There's so much sulfur smell coming from our well water right now it smells like a gas leak every time I wash my hands.

Make your candy difficult to eat (bad wrapping, chocolate squares that can only be broken in certain ways without making a mess, etc) and people will like it more.

Refrigerators should only be half as deep. We only use the front half of ours. Leftovers and other unused items migrate to the back of the fridge to be forgotten or turn into science experiments.

TFW you realize your morning has been extra quiet because Slack was not open.

Bodily function 

Well after 3 days of non stop diarrhea, at least some of my water intake is going back to my bladder now instead of it all to my intestines, so that’s something.

Listening to @agw speak makes me realize how ridiculous and difficult English is. “I shutted the door” is a perfectly reasonable extrapolation. Only it’s wrong. Because English.

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